Mood swings leave my head like a joyless park, my heart: is It broken or mending?
Or maybe it’s sending for me, slyly, bitch don’t try me if I bleed you bleed!
Calm as anything I binned the whole 8 years
I ate fears cos I recently ran out of tears
Tho he stays the other side of Hackney, our rings remain united in the ash tray
Life’s quiet. I don’t miss the fights, I do a lot more so I seize the nights
Night after night, wonder if I’m right, consider life and write on my plight
Failing or saving? Drowning or waving?
Pussyhole I stamp on cracks in the pavement
brave but bathing in self-hate waiting In vain for a saviour, hope animated.
Chorus x 2
It felt right when I did it – did it?
It really felt time when I quit it – quit it
Life that I chose so I’ll live it – is it?
Gonna ride it out no whippin’
Did I mention, I’m a fucking quitter? I dropped my job like a drunk baby sitter
I walked right out like a row over dinner - I threw in the towel yea I’m far from a winner
Applied for a masters, got what I asked for after the classes I asked what I’m here for?
Back came the answer, I left by the rear door – that was last year and I’m still on income support
I got cold feet, I got cold feet. I’m undecided and wired no caffeine
My anxiety on high it’s a bad dream
Terrified on a ride and I can’t scream
Half past 3 I’m feeling isolated, can’t relate in the playground my eyes are glazing
Small talk so awkward, course my mind is aching
Smiling at the faces wishing I was hibernating
CHORUS x2
At least once a day you can find me drained, try stay awake while my Zaina plays
My daughter’s gaze, I’m lost and amazed
I see in her face: love without pain. Love without gain, shame or games
Hugs that’ll warm on a hard, cold day
Stuck in her form is a wise, wise way we call innocence it’ll fly one day
Sweet Malika be proud of your features hair of a lion and I hope that you keep it
Unapologetically out there and natural
Just like your spirit if you love it they’ll have to
Did you know you’re my heart on the outside?
And inside I’m alive for your 2 lives. And at times we’ll arrive at some hard times
But our love will survive out the sun’s shine
